How Do I Tell My Husband?
Dear Dr. David,
"This has come out of the blue and I am still stunned with the findings. I have been in a monogamous marriage for 35 years and have no idea where I picked up this virus. For the last two years I have been working with a naturopath and nutritionist to naturally heal a small breast cancer. At Christmas I told my general doctor that I feel better than I have in my life - and now this. It feels like insult to injury...
"I didn't put two and two together until late Sunday when I began thinking about the symptoms that I'd had all week, and on closer inspection I found more red bumps. On Monday morning, after my husband left, I got on the computer and typed in all the symptoms (burning when urinating, low grade fever, general feeling of malaise, achiness up the back of my legs and ankles etc.) and genital herpes came up. Needless to say, I was beyond upset. A visit to a local clinic confirmed my suspicions and now I have to find a way to tell my husband.
"I've had maybe eight lesions, and after reading your book and following your treatment plan, it is beginning to subside. As I said, I have to find a way to tell my husband, but what explanation do I offer? I haven't been unfaithful and I'm sure that neither has he, so where did this come from? I'm hoping that you can offer some explanation as everything else that I've read hasn't been much help. Toilet seats are mentioned, but only as a remote possibility. I suppose the how doesn't really matter, the fact is my life feels forever changed. "
Being so stunned as you are is normal. Most people feel this way when learning they have herpes. Due so much to the shame attached to having the virus, and also because it is contracted through sexual contact. There is much fear associated with having this as well. You are not alone. Remember this, one-third of Americans have some form of the herpes virus. One-third of Americans have some form of HPV (warts), and one-third of the total of both groups have both warts and herpes. This is a lot of people. This means every third person you see has one of these and every sixth person you see has both. I hope this puts your situation in perspective. This also means that all of these people have an immune system that is unable to handle viral infections well. Their immune system needs help.
What else does this mean? Since your individual situation, dealing with cancer, is involved in the immune system, so is dealing with herpes. For whatever reason, having this infection now is due to your low immune system. And most likely, somewhere in your past you were in genital contact with someone's lips or genitals who was carrying the virus. As you say, you and your husband have been faithful to each other, so this is the only explanation. Therefore, since your exposure, the virus has been lying dormant in your skin cells waiting for an opportunity to emerge. You will need to ask your husband if he is also having problems. You can also look at him yourself first before talking with him. He needs to know. Be gentle on yourself, you have been ill. Your immune system has been down. This gives viruses the opportunity they have been looking for to multiply. This virus "coming out of the blue" is still showing you that you have an immune system that still needs help. Think about this. What about the two-thirds of the population who do not have herpes. I believe their immune system is unable to handle the exposure so they never contract the virus.
Since you have purchased my ebook, both you and your husband need to be on my program. Both of you also need to be taking the herbs I recommend to fight the virus on a daily basis. You can find all the herbs conveniently in my antiviral formula.
David Hogg, ND